Closed off/Open

04/6/12

Closed off/open

Before I had my transplant, virtually no one knew I was sick.  I told people I had a pacemaker if it came up, but I never told them the extent of my heart problem.  I think it was disbelief, I did not think I would ever be to the stage of actually needing a heart transplant, so why tell people that I did.  I am also very low key and I thought that it sounded very dramatic when I told people, so I didn’t. 

Now, I am very open about where I am in my health expedition, I will tell anyone anything for many reasons.  I want to show people how dramatically my life has improved, so hopefully in turn, they will see the benefits of organ donation.  Another reason is transplant affects more people than you would ever think.  I also like to show people, family members, close friends who may be facing this themselves that they do not have such a grim future.  It is hard work, but it has definitely been worth it!

I feel like when I was closed off about my condition I did not have support, besides that of my family.  Now that I am open, I have all this support from great friends who I have met through my journey.  I have not turned to a friend for every problem, but it is really nice to have someone that knows what you are going through.  I know so many people with transplants that get the surgery and then never look back, or look for support, I could not imagine going through this without the people I have met, it would feel so lonely.