Tuesday, August 17, 2010
I never thought it would be this hard
Life rolled around and I got really busy and neglected my blog (while diligently reading-and thoroughly enjoying others). Lately, I have been writing in my own personal journal about my journey because I have just been having a few bumps in the road and I don't want to make this blog a downer blog, I mean to make it insightful, about the life of a young girl with a heart transplant.
I had a mostly enjoyable summer, except I am still having the pain, severe nausea, and I think the combine of these are causing exhaustion. My family members have a vacation home at the beautiful clear lake (keep clear lake green!), I ween there for over a week, I thought that being there would make me feel better, and it did a little, but it was not the magic cure my family though I was going to get from the green algae.
I think on of the hardest things about being a tx patient is that you are expected to always put on this happy face and act like you life is amazing now that you have this new gift of life. I outside world does not realize all of the complications that come with this gift and for me, adjusting to them is still hard.
Before Tx, they warn you that life will be different and you have to used to a life of a new normal, but I never in a million years would have though that a new normal would have been this (hard).
Part of the things is I have this date in my head (Nov 20th, 1 year after tx) and everything is supposed to be back to normal. I just can't get it out of my head that it is not going to be like that.
Anyways, I just started cycling (outside-I have only ridden the stationary bike-I haven't ridden on a real bike since I was like 13 years old). It is way better than the stationary bike. I love it. My goal is to do the Solvang ride November 13, 2010, which will be exactly 51 weeks post tx. Please pray for me to be able to keep on top of this and just for my over all general health. I am so lucky compared to so many of the other tx patients I know who are battling so my. Also, please pray for my family I know all of this stresses them out and my sister is in Texas-I really hope she can move back in December!